


The Thought

by agentsimmons, ElleBear



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bad Fic, Fake Science, Fate & Destiny, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Music, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Science Boyfriends, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything, dubious free will tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElleBear/pseuds/ElleBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to the textbooks and stories, it's the thought everyone with a soul mate supposedly gets at that precise moment when the two souls are predetermined to meet. It's the thought: <i>Is this it? Is that them?</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trigger Point

**Author's Note:**

> agentsimmons: This au started out inspired entirely by a line from The Band Perry's _I Saw A Light_ : "what if you had looked left and I had looked right?" I was listening to the song one day and then the first line of this fic came into my mind followed by Chapters 1, 2 & 5\. Which admittedly got a little carried away with the debate of fate/destiny/predetermination/dubious free will/cause and effect philosophies/etc. So I wasn't sure I was feeling it all that much because then it still kind of derails into something where that dialogue is handwaved perhaps too much because, hey, they still got lucky enough to actually want to be together in spite of obstacles and would have always been together from the start had circumstances been different (with the hint that in their case circumstances _had_ to be different because there's a much bigger picture where fate is concerned). 
> 
> ElleBear: I love soul bonds as a medium, for good and bad, and don't really care about the ethics of it in fanfiction because it's just fantasy. I don't think it's something that shouldn't be played around with the same way fairytales and the concept of true love, magic and fate are in general. Then again I'm a pretty problematic person so maybe that's the case here too, not that I care much. So I asked if I could step in and co-write/edit in order to get it finished because the overall plot intrigued me. I wrote chapters 3 and 4 which should be obvious by the shameless overabundance of script lifting to bridge Jem's beginning and end. 
> 
> See end notes for other influences on this fic.

They meet in college. Almost.

Tony is standing on a curb outside a diner in Central Square, waiting for someone or another. He honestly can't keep track of names at this point. He's going to be graduating soon enough anyhow so it's not like it matters.

Then it happens, he feels the urge to turn his head left and look down the block. It's early evening on a Friday and crowded with college students and Cambridge residents so he's not even sure what he expects to find when he looks. Maybe he's looking for his date, but he's pretty sure she would be coming from the opposite direction.

He continues to scan the crowd when his eyes stop of their own volition on a boy; said boy doesn't look much older than himself given his size, but he can't see more than a slight profile given the guy's angle. Mr. Unknown has dark hair, sort of a messy curls thing going on, and he's wearing a sweatshirt that Tony can tell by the colors of it indicates he's a Harvard student.

He stands there unable to look away, face pinched into a confused and studious gaze like he's being drawn over or through the crowd to where the guy is without even moving. There's a niggling in the back of Tony's mind, the beginnings of _the thought_. According to the textbooks and stories, it's the thought everyone with a soul mate supposedly gets at that precise moment when the two souls are predetermined to meet. It's the thought: _Is this it? Is that them?_

Tony takes a few steps forward, unable to fight his curiosity, his scientific mind always set on inquiry.

"Hey, Tony!" What he had briefly entertained as possibly being _the thought_ seemingly vanishes like a phantom. Broken from his trance, blinking and shaking his head, he turns his attention to the crosswalk at his right hand side and sees a classmate he sometimes parties with heading his way. "Hey man. So I hear your dad's giving a guest lecture next week." Tony rolls his eyes at the mention of his illustrious father and for now he doesn't meet Robert Bruce Banner.

On the other side of the crowd, just as Tony looks right, Bruce feels an urge to look left, as if there are eyes upon him and he needs to find out who and why. So he looks down the block, past the bustle of people, and his eyes fall immediately on a boy, close to his own age he guesses, who looks like he comes from money; Bruce just has a way of knowing these things since he definitely does not come from money. He doesn't see much besides the hair color and style and a slight profile before the boy seems to see somebody he knows and turns his back completely and disappears into the crowd. He blinks a few times in slight confusion, the previous urge to find out who was watching him vanishing, and returns his full attention to the group of friends he's with. For now he doesn't meet Anthony Edward Stark.

So they don't meet after all, but _the thought_ still forms in their subconscious minds at that moment. They don't meet, but their souls acknowledge one another without their knowing it. When Tony fucks his might as well be nameless brunette date that night, his mind creates images of a faceless brunet boy with curls and lean body that fits perfectly with his own; and when Bruce dreams that night, he's being fucked by a faceless brunet boy with shaggy hair and slightly muscled body that seems made for him. They won't consciously remember any of it in the morning, but _the thought_ will still be there guiding their lives for better or for worse.


	2. Choices

When Bruce tries to kill himself the first time, _the thought_ hasn't formed yet because he's still in high school and has never been to Central Square, Cambridge. However, it wouldn't matter anyway if he had because Bruce doesn't believe in soul mates; he'd like to, but he can't.

He's not alone, of course. The science of soul mates is hard to understand. Some argue it's a mutation; either you're born with a soul mate or you're not. Others still argue that everyone is born with a soul mate, but not everyone meets his or her soul mate; potential theories being: it's a natural selection process, the advances of civilization and the global community have confused the process and made the odds of ever meeting one's soul mate less favorable, some die before meeting their other half, environmental factors such as sickness can hinder the formation of _the thought_ , it is a matter of free will and people can lead happy lives making their own choices on whether they want to accept or reject the notion of soul mates, some soul mates are platonic and still misunderstood by society.

As society progressed over the nineteenth century and twentieth, it seems the wider the divide between those two philosophies became. It's become almost like three classes. There are those with soul mates, there are those who are indifferent to the whys or why nots choosing rather to live and let live, and there are those without soul mates. Those with soul mates and those seemingly without seem to clash the most for various reasons. In extremely volatile areas, those without call those with mutants as a slander and those with treat those without like they're damaged goods and untrustworthy.

Bruce sometimes likes to think he's in the indifference class, but as he sits alone in the basement of his high school, waiting for the bomb that will kill him and his bullies alike, he knows he doesn't believe he has a soul mate or that soul mates are really anything more than people trying to explain why they fall in love, how chemicals work, why people cheat with strangers and destroy their whole lives in the process, why people get bitter and alone and drunk.

If he believed in soul mates, he's not sure he would have the guts to go through with this. Because if there's one fundamental rule of soul mate science – he snorts as he thinks about it, counting down the minutes – it's that if _the thought_ has formed and one half tries to take his or her own life, it will throw off the balance of their partner's life just as much as their own. According to the – haphazard, he thinks – research it doesn't seem to matter if the two parties have yet met formally, because they can still be linked apparently. If the attempt is unsuccessful the other's life will be the worst for it until some balance is restored. If the attempt is successful, it's an apparent crapshoot of whether or not the surviving half will ever recover and forge ahead. Again, Bruce thinks it's a bunch of neo-science to try and explain the phenomenon of having really shitty luck or just making really bad choices. To think somebody else's bad choices effect your own life isn't something Bruce is exactly keen on because his life has been miserable since he was born so either he met his damn soul mate as a baby or he was born with _the thought_ and that's a whole different can of worms, a whole different conspiracy-based neo-science community within a neo-science community.

So as he waits for the bomb to take him from the whole convoluted planet he lives on, he doesn't believe that it will make a difference. But if he did, he thinks he wouldn't go through with it. It's not because somebody is waiting for him and things might get better because there are whole studies on when soul mates turn out to be horrible people, something Bruce decidedly doesn't want to think about in his last minutes of life even if it's a big reason why he wants to die in the first place. No, he wouldn't go through with it because his own life has been miserable and he doesn't know if he could risk destroying the life of someone he's maybe met already.

The bomb doesn't go off and his life changes drastically after that day, leading him to a moment in Central Square and a thought that hasn't formed yet. As the bomb refuses to detonate, the soul mate Bruce Banner doesn't believe in sits in a lecture hall, tuning in and out as his professor drones on about clean energy being the way of the future, unaware of what he almost lost.

*   *   *   *

"Come on, Bruce," Betty, his best friend who has recently been promoted to girlfriend status even though he's pretty sure _she_ promoted _him_ , urges him on a Saturday afternoon in December. "It's the end of the semester and you know I have to go home tomorrow so I won't be here for your birthday. Let's go celebrate with the group. You'll have fun."

"Betty, I'm tired and you know I _won't_ have fun so just go on without me," a 21 year-old Bruce counters. He's one semester away from finishing his master's in biochemistry and master's in nuclear physics and he's just fine getting a head start on his thesis for the former so he can focus on his dissertation toward a doctorate in the latter.

"Bruce Banner, your problem is you don't _allow_ yourself to have fun. One night out isn't going to kill you."

"Famous last words I believe," Bruce remains firm in ignoring the protests of his girlfriend.

She's definitely not his soul mate if that neo-science is to be believed; he didn't have some powerful thought that he needed to be with her when they'd met. It had just sort of happened in a natural, pleasant way which is why he still doesn't believe in soul mates. He likes what they are and it was definitely a mutual decision that complemented one another far better than something predetermined.

His decisions are his own and not fate or whatever supposedly guides a person in a dance that rearranges another person's life. That's why he doesn't feel any inclination to give into Betty's choices if they're not his own. He doesn't expect it the other way around either; she's her own person (although she runs in the indifferent circle).

"Fine, be a sourpuss," she says, rolling her eyes. "But I'm not going to spend my last day of the semester ho-humming."

"That's fine," he replies. "I hope you have fun. Where are you guys going?"

"Probably Central Square," comes her answer and suddenly the idea of a night on the town doesn't sound _as bad_ to him as before. In fact, he almost feels inclined to surprise Betty and their friends by going. He can always start his thesis the next day.

 

Nearly four hours away and about a half an hour later, in Long Island, Tony finds himself in the midst of his own debate on where he will or won't go. Only it's with his aging father and they're both unrelenting in their disapproval of one another's points of view. 21 year old Tony was supposed to go to an event with his parents that night, but on a whim fifteen minutes prior had called some MIT buddies he had the sudden urge to hang out with so now he was determined to take his personal plane up to Cambridge rather than attend the event.

"You're getting too old to act like this," his father chastises. "You have responsibilities."

Tony scoffs. "Please. Nobody will even notice I'm not there. The board members will probably be glad I'm not there for once."

"Well, maybe if you didn't make a pass at their daughters every chance you get, that wouldn't be the case."

He rolls his eyes at that. His father probably gave Howard Hughes a run for his money back in the day. "Oh, I've made more than passes. And at more than just their daughters," Tony replies with a belligerent smirk. "Only two of them were decent," he then says coldly.

After all, none of them had been his soul mate which Tony very much believes in at this point. Not that his parents have had some fairytale marriage – he's not even sure they married their soul mates and marrying a soul mate doesn't always seem to mean true love or wedded bliss anyway – but because there's just too much evidence in favor of the principle. He eagerly awaits his moment when _the thought_ will happen, although every now and then he has the funniest feeling it already has which confuses his inquiring mind, just so he can really study how it feels and functions firsthand.

In the meantime though, he still has an insatiable desire for sex that he doesn't feel any qualms in fulfilling. He tells himself it's definitely one way to go about increasing the odds of finding his soul mate and not an unpleasant way at that.

"Anthony, I just don't understand you." His father is still bristling about his philandering tendencies.

"And I just don't understand what the big deal is." He doesn't kowtow. He wants to go revisit his old stomping grounds, no matter how laughable since he'd been 17 when he graduated, and nothing is going to stop him. In the end, he wins the argument, flies down and meets a few old buddies who haven't graduated yet – since not everyone is a prodigy that can earn two master's degrees in two years.

When he and his friends decide to hit up Central Square, Tony pauses at an intersection and stares at nothing in particular, but it feels like déjà vu. When he snaps back to reality the only difference is he has a thought that tonight he _really_ wants to pick up a guy to sleep with, needs it even, and so he does.

When Bruce and Betty tumble into his bed that night, he suddenly has a vague recollection of dreaming about a faceless, dark haired lover. It's so overwhelming that when he looks down at Betty, he wonders if there might be such things as soul mates after all and he'd been too stubborn to realize that she's his.

When both of them wake up in the morning, they learn along with the rest of the world that Howard and Maria Stark were killed in an accident. Bruce feels a fleeting sense of sorrow he doesn't know what to do with since he'd never cared much for Stark Industries. In a nearby hotel Tony doesn't know whether he's more horrified that his parents are dead or that if not for his stubborn urge he might be too.

*   *   *   *

Pepper Potts comes into his life when he needs her most and becomes, for all intents and purposes, everything he needs. Only, she presents Tony with a very serious dilemma.

Until this point, his belief in soul mates had been unwavering as well as his basic theories on the science of it. He had been of the opinion that everyone is born with a soul mate whether or not they meet, all soul mate relationships are romantic even if every relationship requires work after the initial attraction, not all soul mate relationships are happy, everyone has the choice to do what he or she wants including rejecting a soul mate, after _the thought_ forms in both souls they are linked in a way that the effect of conscious choices on one another are indeterminable while subconscious choices work on the principle of readjusting one another's trajectories so that there will always be positive harmony whether together or apart until the point that their souls are destined to merge completely, binding them – should they choose that.

Pepper challenges his notions because he finds her to be extremely beautiful, but he has no urge to be with her romantically for the rest of his life. He's more than okay with continuing his one night stands and letting her usher them out in the morning. He has a hard time believing he could ever do that with someone he's destined to be with, no matter how indifferent he's gotten over the years. That said, he comes to depend on her and doesn't really think he could live without her in his life. In his mostly lonely world, she's nearly all he has. It's companionable and pleasant. There's no feeling of _the thought_ in his mind, only what he would call _a thought_. A thought that says if he has to spend his life with someone who isn't his soul mate, he would choose her.

When Pepper comes into his life, he wonders if there's some truth to the theory that some soul mates are platonic. When Pepper comes into his life, he wonders for the first time if there are no such things as soul mates after all. Across the country, Bruce moves with Betty to Culver University to start a new chapter in their careers and lives. As they settle in together Bruce has _a thought_ that if soul mates are real and he has to spend his life with someone predestined for him, he's glad the universe was kind to him for once.

*   *   *   *

As the years go by, Tony's life becomes an empty shell filled to the brim with excess. Excess alcohol, excess sex, excess everything. There are thoughts in his mind that he should fill that shell with something else. There are thoughts about the ethics of war profiteering and what he can do to improve it. There are thoughts about nuclear physics and clean energy. There are thoughts about moving back to the east coast. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, but never _the thought_.

In spite of his misgivings, somewhere underneath it all, he still believes in soul mates because there's still so much evidence. How can so many people be wrong for so many centuries? And because he still believes in soul mates, he realizes just how horrible a person he really is when on a cold day in 2003, he decides to sell his own soul to the Merchant of Death.

As he downs the bottle of pills he prays for the first time since his childhood. He prays that the world is right to class people into two categories, those born with soul mates and those born without. He prays that he isn’t a mutant. He prays that he's not about to destroy somebody he could have maybe loved, who maybe could have loved him in spite of his empty shell of excess if only he could have had the strength to make it to that point. He prays that he doesn't have to wake up to find out one way or another.

As he downs the bottle of pills, the soul mate he hopes doesn't exist learns that his funding may be cut. Tony wakes up in a hospital two days later, angry and afraid.

*   *   *   *

After he recovers from his attempt to kill himself Tony throws himself deeper into trying to figure out the deal with soul mates, focusing on what happens in violent situations, while Bruce goes on the run, desperate to cure his nightmarish condition.

The only new thing Tony learns is that there seems to be a correlation between self-harm and harming the other person and vice versa once _the thought_ is formed. Consciously harming oneself almost always leads to instability in the other person's life because the souls are linked even if they're not yet merged together for some reason. Harming the other person intentionally almost always leads to hurting oneself whereas doing so unintentionally merely leads to instability in one's own life. Tony can only theorize that it's like hurting a good friend and feeling bad after the fact, but magnified by the soul link that seeks to bring two people together as a complete whole – the soul merger – where _hurt you_ is intrinsically _hurt me_.

The only new thing Bruce learns is that his father was right _. You're a monster. What makes you think monsters have soul mates? Your mother was my soul mate before you came along, you little freak_. His father had been right in calling him a monster. Maybe he was right about everything else. He thinks the only hope he'd had for a soul mate was Betty and the monster had nearly killed her so it's a good thing he's still fairly certain she wasn't; she still has hope for someone else. As he runs from the military, he decides it's a good thing he had never truly believed in soul mates because if they are real he doesn't have one anyway so there's no disappointment to be felt and no reason to get close to anyone else again. The new beast in his mind, that people call the Hulk and he calls the Other Guy, grumbles when he comes to that conclusion and soon after there's another incident.

After that incident General Ross commissions weapons from Stark Industries for bringing down the Hulk. Tony considers it and almost says no for reasons he can't explain, but is convinced it's a matter of national security. That night he drinks himself into a hallucinatory state. Sometimes there are screams of rage, other times of panic. Sometimes there's a bestial roar in his ears. Then whenever he starts to think he wants to just keep drinking until he dies, there are glimpses of a familiar street corner he doesn't recall in his drunken haze and the sensation of a faceless brunet making love to him so perfectly that it both keeps him from giving into his urge to keep drinking and hurts him because he feels he doesn't deserve it.

The same day the first Hulkbuster weapons attack the Hulk, Obadiah Stane starts scheming for a way to have Tony Stark killed.

*   *   *   *

The second time Bruce tries to kill himself, _the thought_ has been with him for years. This time he wants to die because it's the only end he can see. He's a monster, hunted by the military, who threatens everyone. There's no cure for the beast and he doesn't believe he has a soul mate. Even if there was the off chance he did, he knows he would kill himself anyway. In the grand scheme of things, worrying about someone who may or may not exist is inconsequential compared to the lives of those the Other Guy has already destroyed explicitly. So he puts the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger, not knowing that as he does a Humvee in Afghanistan is attacked.

When the Other Guy spits the bullet out, Bruce hears him for the first time through the sea of green he feels like he's barely treading water in.

He hears a roar and then, "Puny Banner! Tries to hurt mate!" Then he drowns in that sea until he wakes up in South America.

It's in Rio de Janeiro that he learns of Tony Stark's presumed capture by terrorists. Even though he should feel no pity, knowing full well who made the weapons that have attacked him in the past, his heart goes cold and there's a distinct roar in his ears that for once doesn't lead to a transformation. That night he dreams in stints. Sometimes it's cold and damp and he doesn't know where he is. Other times it's like someone is attempting to rip out his heart. Then whenever he feels the beast begin to growl, threatening to wake him into a rage, he's back at his favorite eatery in Central Square and then his hands are buried in shaggy, brunet hair, the perfection of his faceless lover lulling the beast back into his mind but also leaving him aching for more.

When he wakes up in the morning he has the urge to try finding a cure again and he gives in to it.

*   *   *   *

The day Bruce Banner riskily reenters the United States in search of his cure is the day that Tony Stark returns home from being captured. The news is on the television at the diner he stops to eat in. He feels relieved and unable to look away as the press conference takes place, announcing the shutdown of weapons manufacturing. He has a thought that it would be amazing to be standing in the room with him at that precise moment, the news rippling like a strong current. It almost feels like he should be there with him. He smiles a real smile for the first time since his dreams in Rio, but then a glance at the clock tells him he needs to catch his bus and the moment is lost.

What follows over the next several months is a delicate balance, not always in harmony, but moving closer to it.

Tony all but decides Pepper may be the everything he needs after all, if not soul mate, to help fill his nothing, fill his empty shell; it happens the same night Betty reenters Bruce's life. However, Tony learns of Stane's betrayal, leaving Pepper alone long enough for fate to intervene in her life. Meanwhile, the military soon finds Bruce and he's forced to transform.

Bruce tries to pick up where he left off with Betty, but there's a growling in his mind that alarms him and so he decides to wait for the cure. Tony begins his true evolution toward Iron Man, but not without near misses of his own.

As Bruce falls from a chopper and he begins to turn, he hears the Other Guy a second time. It's a distinct, primitive voice that says, "Nice Betty not mate. Still protect Nice Betty." So when the battle with the Abomination is over, they part ways as lovers once and for all; 3000 miles away, a robot hands Tony Stark the proof that he has a heart.

30 days after Tony Stark declares to the world that he's Iron Man, Bruce gives up on a cure and begins trying for control.

*   *   *   *

After years of back and forth, the two men finally and unknowingly begin separate journeys guided by the same thought and leading to the same moment in time. Tony calls his a terrible privilege and struggles with what to do with that privilege as he faces the prospect of dying. Bruce still calls his the Other Guy and struggles with finding the right way to maintain control. But their goal is the same.

The day before Tony finds his cure for palladium poisoning Bruce learns his party trick in the most unexpected way. An incident with terrorists in India results in Bruce giving the Hulk, the first time since trying to save the day in Harlem, a chance to come out in order to protect civilians.

Instead of drowning in a sea of green, unconscious, he finds himself standing in Central Square, Cambridge – only there's nobody there save him and he's aware that he's really somewhere inside the Hulk's mind… or his mind? It's bizarre and he has a sense of what Hulk is doing and what's happening in the outside world, like watching it on a television.

"Where am I?" He's startled by his own voice and the way it sounds in the space around him. The Hulk doesn't respond, so he doesn't speak again until he's lying garbed only in tattered pants somewhere near Kolkata. When he blinks open his bleary eyes and looks around, he remembers everything with clarity for once. His first instinctive question is, "How?"

He doesn't expect an answer, but when he closes his tired eyes again, he gets one. "Not fight." His eyes snap open in surprise and he decides to leave it at that for a while.

The two men continue their journeys, their lives and choices getting better. Tony finally gives into a thought that he can help the world with clean energy while Bruce learns that he just likes helping people. Tony taps into his ego and a big, ugly building goes up in Manhattan, but there's a thought behind it that he can't quite yet put into words. He only knows it's important. Bruce taps into his ever-present anger and finds that he can communicate with the monster in his head when he reaches out, but he still wonders as to why their shared space is Central Square or why Hulk evades the question like he's keeping the answer to himself. He doesn't bring up the Hulk's previous mentions of soul mates. Tony tears down a bar, feeling vindictive against a general he knows for certain he should never have trusted even if he doesn't know why. Bruce learns that the Hulk doesn't actually want to come out if he's not either needed or wanted even if Bruce still isn't sure what Hulk defines as 'needed.'

Then a day unlike any other comes and Director Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. decides to assemble his Avengers.


	3. A Day Unlike Any Other

"You know, for a man who's supposed to be avoiding stress, you picked a hell of a place to settle."

Bruce freezes. Since finding a sort of balance with the Other Guy, his survival instincts have been slipping it seems. He's maybe gone soft. He's maybe taken advantage of the fact that General Ross would never track him down to Kolkata.

He turns to see the red headed woman sauntering towards him in a manner he assumes is meant to be seductive. At one time he might have been interested, but on the one hand he's been keen on avoiding sexual relations because the Other Guy doesn't seem to like them, grumbling in his head, even if he doesn't come out, and on the other hand he's become almost entirely inclined toward men as of late.

"Avoiding stress isn't the secret," he hedges as he continues to look around the hut. It's not entirely true. If he gets so stressed that he feels threatened, the Hulk decides he might be 'needed' to handle it. But it's close enough to the truth and is a good way to get a feel for what she wants.

"Then what is? Yoga?"

 _Ah_ , he thinks, _so_ _she's trying to find out my secret for remaining without incident?_ He isn't about to give that away so he changes the subject, talking about how clever it is for her to bring him to the edge of the city and making small chat about child spies. She makes a comment about her life that he thinks maybe is an attempt to placate him, but at the moment he only cares about what she's after. He doesn't want the Hulk to feel like he's needed.

"Who are you?" He asks, taking the direct approach.

"Natasha Romanoff."

He almost laughs at how even her name screams spy. "And are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff? Because that's not going to work out for everyone." He's learned the hard way multiple times that the quickest way to bring out the Other Guy is any attempt to kill him. Bruce still isn't sure if his theory is correct, but the Hulk doesn't seem to like what it might do to either him or his hypothetical soul mate; still he doesn't ask why Hulk would think that he has a soul mate or how he even knows what soul mates are. He also pointedly ignores the implication that he would have to already be somehow linked to said soul mate if the science is at all true.

Miss Romanoff tells him that she's from S.H.I.E.L.D. and he recognizes the name. He's had a few run-ins with the undercover government organization. From what he knows, they're supposed to be the good guys, but he doesn't find himself abundantly trustful of the government anymore. It's hard to be when you were lied to by the military only to become a monster and a fugitive and hunted by the government as a result.

"We never lost you, doctor," she answers when he asks how they found him. He was sure he was pretty far off the grid. "We've kept our distance; even helped keep some other interested parties off your scent." He doesn't need her to elaborate on that. She's trying to buy his trust. She's trying to imply that he can trust S.H.I.E.L.D. on the sole basis that they've kept Ross away.

He wants to roll his eyes at her weak attempt, but he doesn't. "Why?"

"Nick Fury seems to trust you." He's not sure she understood that question. Nobody intrinsically trusts him if they know about his condition. She herself just gave away that she doesn't trust him and is only there because her boss _seems_ to trust him. "But now I need you to come in."

"What if I say no?" And it's not really a question of 'if' because it's a horrible idea. He doesn't trust them any more than they trust him.

She seems to rise to the bait with batted lashes and a coy smile. "I'll persuade you."

She seems determined to use the femme fatale routine against him so he decides to play along, see if he can coax her out of her comfort zone and get a read on the situation. He's had a lot of lessons on the illusion of control in his life time by this point.

"And what if the Other Guy says no?" He asks and then walks a few steps away, his eyes catching on a baby cradle and his heart twisting a little at the sight.

"You've been more than a year without an incident." That tells him that they suspect he's figured something out which is all the more reason not to trust what they intend to do with that information. "I don't think you wanna break that streak," she states the obvious, or at least it would be obvious if she knew that's not how it works anymore.

"I don't every time…" He finally touches the cradle and tries to ignore the desire that washes over him. The desire for normalcy and the family he and Betty had talked about. The kids he was going to be a better father to than his had been to him. "…get what I want."

"Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe," she urges, maybe picking up on how indifferent to her presence he had just been and not taking kindly to it.

He doesn't care. He might as well have been half a world away in that moment, somewhere in… _Central Square_ , his mind supplies, but he shakes it away with a derisive snort. "Well, those I actively try to avoid."

As soon as he says it, however, the urge _not_ to avoid it begins to overwhelm him. He hasn't felt an inclination to change his mind or go against his better judgment like this in literal years. It has nothing to do with Natasha's persuasion, he's certain of that, and yet he humors her briefing on this Tesseract they want him to track down.

"There's no one that knows gamma radiation like you do." He almost laughs again because he doesn't need her to tell him that. If only he'd stuck with other projects instead of focusing on gamma and cellular repair. Hell, he knows he could have revolutionized the world with his ideas for water filtration or clean energy or even teleportation. Ironically, something about the Tesseract makes him think of clean energy. "If there was, that's where I'd be."

"So Fury isn't after the monster?" He asks because he still doesn't believe her.

"Not that he's told me," she hedges and he considers his next move. Against his better judgment he's already made the decision to go with her, but he still wants to make sure he keeps the playing field even.

"And he tells you everything?" He asks dubiously.

"Talk to Fury. He needs you on this."

He can sense her rising trepidation, her loss of control. "He needs me in a cage?" He goads further and taps into just enough of his anger that he can give the appearance of the Other Guy without actually asking him to take over.

"No one's gonna put you in a..."

"Stop lying to me!" He bangs the table and Hulk's voice blends seamlessly with his own; it's one of the many tricks he's learned now that he no longer fights it. Unsurprisingly, she pulls a gun on him that had been hidden. "I'm sorry, that was mean," he says, immediately himself again and he muses that if she weren't so off guard she should have picked up on that anomaly. "I just wanted to see what you'd do," he tells her honestly, knowing she still isn't in a state of mind to understand.

When she comes back to her senses, she reveals that the entire place had been surrounded although she'd ensured it had just been the two of them. He hadn't believed her of course, but he doesn't like being lied to. The Other Guy doesn't seem to take too kindly to that kind of uncertainty either. For a moment he wonders if he isn't making a mistake. But something inside advises him to go and he chooses to listen.

*   *   *   *

Tony had considered being a dick about being called in by Fury. Agent Coulson could say all he wants that it wasn't about personality profiles anymore, but that didn't negate the fact that it had been at one time. They only wanted him now because they were desperate for anyone willing. In all honesty, he hadn't been willing.

At least, not until he had been surrounded by the files and his gaze had shifted left. It was the strangest feeling, like left was the way he should have been looking his entire life and he had only just realized it. On his left had been the files for Dr. Robert Bruce Banner alias the Hulk. His mind had suddenly changed gears and something inside had told him it was important to go in.

On the flight to Stuttgart, Tony re-reads some of Dr. Banner's work because, frankly, he can't stop thinking about it. The man is brilliant. He can't stop himself from thinking _where have you been all my life?_ There are only a select few people other than himself that he can say he's a fan of on an intellectual level, but Dr. Banner puts them all through a wringer. He has to meet this guy. Working with Captain America, something he's not looking forward to, or with anyone else for that matter, takes a backseat in his mind to meeting with the brilliant nuclear physicist who also…

Turns into the Hulk.

He debates momentarily whether or not he should be afraid of that aspect. Truth is, he finds that just as breathtaking as the man's brilliance. By all counts the guy should be dead and the idea that he would be if not for the beast he turned into makes his heart pound against his arc reactor in a way he really can't explain. Or maybe it's the overwhelming guilt that surges through him when he remembers that he built weapons to take the man and beast down. He could have hurt him and would never have known and yet he wonders for a very fleeting moment if maybe he would have. If there's anything to be afraid of now, it's that Dr. Banner will hate him for what he's done.

 

"It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me."

The words rattle around in his brain and make the Other Guy uncomfortable. Bruce knows this is exactly why he shouldn't have come. He reaches inward and tries to silently reassure the Hulk that he isn't needed and that S.H.I.E.L.D. is just scared and doing what they think is best; he tries his best to believe it as well.

"Built for something a lot stronger than you," Fury tells their demigod prisoner.

"Oh, I've heard. The mindless beast that makes play he's still a man."

Bruce is coming back out of his mind as Loki's words register in his ears and he sees Agent Romanoff cautiously look up at him. It shouldn't hurt, but it does. It's a reminder that nobody will ever see him as a man again. It's a vicious cycle. To others he's not a man with wants and needs so he denies himself of acting on his wants and needs, but that doesn't make them go away, rather it adds anger to the well he draws from. At this particular moment, he's angry at Natasha Romanoff for not having the decency or subtlety to keep her agreement with Loki to herself.

But he can't let that anger fester because he wants to prove that he's still a man. Maybe Loki is right. Maybe it's all pretend, but it's better than nothing. "He really grows on you, doesn't he?" He taps into his sense of humor instead, something that at one time he'd almost forgotten he still had. Not surprising, nobody responds to him. He's not there to be an equal. He's not there to be a man. So he focuses his attention on trying to figure out what Loki's play is.

He has no way of knowing that everything is about to change.

*   *   *   *

Iridium. It's a stabilizing agent.

While Tony gabbles around on the bridge, the anticipation grows in the pit of his stomach. He's finally in the same room as Dr. Banner and he doesn't want to seem too eager, but everything is telling him to pay attention to the physicist.

While Tony gabbles around on the bridge, Bruce feels the shock ripple through him. Tony Stark answered his question without missing a beat. Tony Stark fills the room with something that he can't put his name to, but he's suddenly eager to find out what it is. Tony Stark is much more handsome in real life than his pictures.

"He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Bruce answers a question on instinct. Nobody asked him, but he's good at this. He knows his facts and he feels a surge of confidence to prove that he's a scientist and not just a monster.

Tony feels all of his attention immediately move to Dr. Banner and he begins to move left as if in an orbit around the room to get closer to the physicist. "Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect," he posits, knowing that if anyone will understand it has to be this man, who is also remarkably attractive in real life.

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet," Bruce replies and before he even knows what's happening he thinks, _where have you been all my life?_

Tony feels everything inside him light up. He thinks maybe his reactor is just a little bit brighter because, "Finally someone who speaks English."

"Is that what just happened?"

Neither man hears the question, but it echoes around the bridge like a sign from the heavens daring them to realize the answer. Anthony Edward Stark and Robert Bruce Banner are finally going to meet.

"It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner," Tony says, clasping his hand and trying to ignore the sudden urge – no, need? – to pull the physicist closer. "Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled." His heartbeat picks up and slowly realization begins to dawn. "And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster."

"Thanks," Bruce barely stammers out because everything that he's ever believed has been a lie. His father was wrong. Maybe monsters do have soul mates because everything inside is screaming – no, roaring? – _Is this it? Is it him?_

"Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube," Fury interrupts and they let go of one another. "I was hoping you might join him."

Tony wants nothing more than for that to happen. He can't explain it, there's no precedence for it that he knows of even with his studies on soul mates, but it feels like he's known Dr. Banner for years. He doesn't feel _the thought_ as it's typically described because suddenly the feeling returns of _the thought_ having been there already. Instead he feels as though his entire being wants to meld with Bruce Banner.

Bruce wants nothing more than for that to happen too, but fear settles in. He's not a man. He's _not_ a man. Maybe monsters have soul mates after all, but that doesn't mean it's a good thing. He suddenly realizes that free will is cruel, that _the entire thing_ is cruel. He would rather be ignorant again than faced with the enclosing dread that: yes, Tony Stark _of all people_ is his soul mate, but no, they can't be together. He's not a man.

*   *   *   *

Bruce immediately realizes that being alone with Tony Stark is not a good thing.

"Uh, the lab is…" He starts when the billionaire heads towards the barracks, but his sentence trails when the other man quickly looks at him with piercing eyes that seem to see straight into his soul. "It's this way, Mr. Stark," he forces himself to finish.

"Either call me Tony or Stark. None of that mister crap," Tony says to him. "And I'm just going to go change. Guess I should have said that in the first place. This isn't exactly conducive for lab work," he points to his outfit, "which I had no idea would be on the table when I put it on or I wouldn't have bothered. I mean, not to say I fly around in the suit naked or anything. I would have had clothes on. I don't much do the whole public nudity thing anymore. And that would be ridiculously uncomfortable in the suit, trust me. So, uh, yeah. Costume change is in order."

Bruce blinks several times as Tony rambles at the speed of light. He's not sure if this is Tony's typical M.O. or if he's nervous. The latter possibility reminds him that if he's felt _the thought_ , then Tony would too. Does that make him nervous? Is he trying to reject it too because he doesn't want it? He wouldn't blame him if that's the case; in fact, it might make this easier if they're in agreement.

Honestly, he needs that to be the case because being alone with him is breaking down his resolve. He follows Tony to the barracks and waits a comfortable distance, but he can't remember the last time he's wanted to be with anyone this badly just from one look. Honestly, he needs Tony's attempt to reject the merge to be the case because even the rambling of science together as they head to the lab is like perfection and he never wants it to end; it's really almost as good as sex. Even Tony's way of rambling, which he thinks must definitely just be a character trait, does things to him that doesn't make sense; he's a middle-aging man and his gut shouldn't flip like this.

"The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process." Science. He has to focus on the problem at hand and that requires pure science and facts and nothing else. Of course, he really wishes he hadn't spent so much time thinking of soul mates as neo-science because he can't really recall if there are steps one has to take to reject a merger. He hopes Tony knows how and is working effectively on doing so.

"If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops," Tony says conversationally.

God, he's selfish and weak because he has to smile at that. He has to offer a joke in response. "All I packed was a tooth brush."  
  
Then Tony does the unthinkable. "You know, you should come by Stark Tower sometime. Top ten floors, all R&D." He's still conversational, but Bruce can tell he's not fighting this if that's indeed what _this_ is – which he feels pretty certain it must be. Instead, Tony's inviting him to his place. He's offering the chance for them to find out. Or else Tony already _knows_ and wants him. That… That's an even stranger notion. "You'd love it, it's Candy-land."

He has to do this on his own now. He has to say no. He wants to go see the wonders of Stark Tower, of Tony's genius, but he has to say no. "Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke Harlem." Facts. He sticks with facts.

"Well, I promise a stress free environment," Tony presses forward and Bruce has to steady himself because Tony is so close that he can feel the way their souls are trying to meet. It's terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. "No tension. No surprises."

Suddenly there's a _zap_ at his side and he barks out an, "Ow!" For a split second he wonders if that's what soul merging feels like until he turns to look at Tony, who is pressed into his personal space and studying him intently, and realizes the man had electrocuted him to test his control. He hears the Other Guy laugh in amusement in his mind, not at all threatened apparently, and it matches the amusement on his own face.

"Nothing?" He's not sure if Tony's surprised or disappointed or hopeful. Too many emotions read across Tony's face at once.

"Are you nuts?" Steve Rogers asks as he comes into the lab and Bruce has to wonder at that a little. Anyone in their right mind, if they suspected their soul mate was housing a creature like the Hulk, would have said 'nope, sorry, not happening' at the door and yet he continues to get the distinct feeling that Tony is testing the waters first as if it's not immediately off the table. That's a little nuts.

"You really have got a lid on it, haven't you?" Bruce refuses to answer. "What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?"

He wants to laugh, but suddenly he realizes that Tony only _suspects_ that he has a secret. Tony doesn't know he's not as dangerous as he once was. If he can only convince him otherwise, they can call this a day before Tony can get hurt. He doesn't want to hurt Tony and now that they've met and made that first connection, though it feels like it's always been there he muses, that risk is greater and it's enough to make Bruce hurt just thinking about it.

"Is everything a joke to you? Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offense, Doctor."

"No, it…" He has to lie because it is offensive, but it's not his biggest concern right now. "It's alright. I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things." He wouldn't have come on board if he'd known Tony was his soul mate though. That's what he can't handle. He can't handle Tony. Well, no, he knows that's not true either because he feels pretty sure if he were just a normal man he could handle Tony even with all his billons and egocentricity. He wants to handle Tony. _Handle and be handled_ , he thinks before shaking it off quickly.

"You're tiptoeing, big man," Tony says as if reading his thoughts. "You need to strut."

Bruce feels his heart stutter as he realizes fate has the strangest sense of humor. Of course his soul mate would be brash, bold, reckless, everything he's always taken careful steps not to be lest somebody get hurt – even before the accident.

*   *   *   *

"I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables." Tony isn't in the mood to argue with Captain Self-Righteous.

He would rather be alone with Bruce again because that's the equation currently giving him trouble. He can feel his soul trying to merge with Bruce's – it's a stranger sensation than any of the stories have done justice to. Yet, he gets the distinct feeling that Bruce is trying to reject it. And, honestly, that's just not something he wants to contemplate as a possibility because he's never wanted something more in his life than to share everything from here on out with Bruce Banner.

Not even his own ego could have imagined he would get this lucky because Bruce is his intellectual equal, he's gorgeous, he seems to be hiding a great sense of humor that can match his own, he seems like the right kind of reserved to balance his 'ready, fire, aim' mentality, and even the potential anger issues sends a little thrill down his adrenaline junkie spine. This is definitely a romantic thing and feels overwhelmingly right and something he could work on making it work, but only if Bruce wants it too.

He barely registers Rogers' question about Fury. "He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets." He looks at Bruce because he can't _not_ look at him. "It's bugging him too, isn't it?" Something's bugging him and he means to get to the bottom of it.

"Uh, I just wanna finish my work here and…"

Tony blanches a little. He knows for sure that Bruce was going to say something along the lines of run away. He's definitely afraid of what's happening here. Suddenly it dawns on him that maybe it has something to do with the Hulk.

"Doctor?" Steve urges and Bruce relents.

"A warm light for all mankind. Loki's jab at Fury about the cube…"

"I heard it," Steve says with an edge in his voice that immediately makes Tony want to go a few rounds with the guy. But he decides instead maybe he should slow down and make sure a soul merge happens first before he starts getting overly protective…

"Well, I think that was meant for you." Bruce points at him and Tony immediately extends the package of blueberries in his hand.

It hits him that even if Bruce doesn't want him, he'll probably still do anything in his power to protect him because… wow. Bruce is intelligent, perfect, and even if he doesn't want the merge to happen, they're still intrinsically on the same page as evidenced by the way Bruce backs him up against Rogers. They're still linked.

"We have orders, we should follow them," Steve continues and Tony is all out of patience.

"Following is not really my style," he clips.

"And you're all about style, aren't you?"

He bristles, but takes satisfaction in the fact that Bruce doesn't seem to like the jibe either. "Of the people in the room, which one is A. wearing a spangly outfit and B. not of use?"

"Steve," Bruce says more calmly and his level-headedness washes over him just a little. "Tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?"

Rogers tweaks his jaw and Tony feels maybe a little too proud that his would-be soul mate has struck a nerve with deadly precision. "Just find the cube," the captain says indignantly before leaving. At least they're alone again.

*   *   *   *

Silence fills the lab for a few seconds before Tony is back to talking. "That's the guy my dad never shut up about?" He doesn't tell anyone about that part of his past, that sore spot, but it spills out of his mouth just the same. "Wondering if they shouldn't have kept him on ice."

Bruce huffs out a small laugh. "The guy's not wrong about Loki. He does have the jump on us."

Already the tension in the room begins to change to something else, something palpable that both men feel.

"What he's got is an acme dynamite kit. It's gonna blow up in his face and I'm gonna be there when it does," Tony says determinedly.

"And I'll read all about it," Bruce says sadly, but his tone is tinged with fondness. Merger or no, the pride of what Tony Stark is capable of begins to fill him.

But the pride of what Bruce Banner is, as man and monster, fills Tony too. "Or you'll be suiting up with the rest of us."

"Ah, see. I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed, like a nerve." The words come spilling out of Bruce's mouth easily matching Tony's vulnerability. Their souls are dancing around the room, trying to meet in the middle. "It's a nightmare," Bruce says bitterly and it overwhelms Tony with a need to make it right.

"You know." Tony stops everything, all of his attention focused on Bruce. "I've got a cluster of shrapnel trying every second to crawl its way into my heart." Tony moves closer, trying to explain that the circle of light is part of him now, but the words go unspoken in the air around them that Bruce is also meant to be part of him now, neither knowing that they've already been dancing around this moment since Central Square. "It's a terrible privilege," Tony explains.

"But you can control it," Bruce says, the struggle to maintain his resolve evident in his tone.

"Because I learned how." Tony doesn't give up his own fight to understand why Bruce is resisting.

"It's different," Bruce maintains, but if Tony were listening for it he would hear the lie.

Or maybe he does because suddenly Tony's indignant and determined to prove that there's nothing about Bruce, not even his condition, that's going to stop him from wanting this to happen. "Hey, I've read all about your accident. That much gamma exposure should have killed you." There's unspoken gratitude to the universe that it hadn't.

Bruce blinks and the tension grows that much thicker around them. "So you're saying the Hulk, the Other Guy… saved my life?" Tony can't possibly see the flashes of memories in Bruce's mind or hear the echoes of Hulk's premonition about him as Bruce presses forward stubbornly. "That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?"

The question hangs in the balance between their two souls. It doesn't need a straight answer because they already know. It's the final outcome that's yet to be determined.

"I guess we'll find out," Tony replies instead and the maddening distance between them returns.

Bruce all but sighs. "You may not enjoy that." Neither man knows if Bruce is referring to what he sometimes becomes or what may become of them if he pushes Tony away.

"You just might," Tony responds defiantly.

It's then Bruce begins to realize that giving up what was meant to be his will be the final blow in his horrible tragedy of a life. It's then Tony begins to realize Bruce means to reject the merger in order to protect him.


	4. Linked

They've been working in silence; it's both companionable and frustrating. It's companionable because they work in sync without a need for too many words and Tony realizes he's never felt so at ease in a shared space as he is with Bruce in this small lab. It's frustrating because Tony wants to find all of the right words to convince Bruce that he doesn't need to be afraid, he doesn't need to protect him from this, but he doesn't even know where to begin. There's also the pesky business of meeting each other at the most inopportune time, when the entire world is maybe depending on them. Then again, would they have ever met if not for the danger the world is in? He realizes that Bruce is only there because the situation forced his hand.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out because suddenly it dawns on him that he has yet to apologize for contributing to Bruce's misery.

And just as suddenly it rips through his heart, the clarity of why he had hated General Ross unwittingly and of why he had felt so awful about the weapons and of how he had maybe almost hurt Bruce. But that also implies that maybe they've met before, had _the thought_ before now and have been linked this whole time. Or is the science wrong and there is no need for some tangible point of contact before _the thought_ happens? He means to consider it more later when he isn't busy apologizing regardless of if there had been a link.

"Sorry about…" Bruce starts, not bothering to look over from his screen. "Sorry about the, uh, the weapons?' He guesses.

"Yes," Tony replies. He knows that all of his weapons had his name written on them so there's no need to pretend Bruce doesn't know. "I was commissioned by Ross. I… I almost said no." Bruce does look over at him then, brow furrowed. "It just felt wrong for some reason." They both seem inclined to ignore the obvious possibility for now so he continues, walking towards Bruce because he just can't seem to keep himself away for more than a few minutes at a time.

"Ross made a good argument though and sold it as needing to protect this country. That was Stark Industries job and I had no viable excuse for saying no." He moves a little into Bruce's personal space, coming to the side of Bruce's work station. Bruce looks up at the screen like he's a little uneasy by the closeness. "If it makes you feel better, the day I approved the commission I had one of the worst hallucinatory binges of my life. Thought somebody had slipped me something stronger."

Bruce cringes. "It doesn't. And it's okay. I've moved past that. You were just doing your job. If not you, it would have been someone else."

"Yeah, I get that. And it's not that I'm okay with the idea as a whole of them attacking you, but what I'm saying is I wish it had been someone else," Tony insists because he has to make this clear. Bruce turns sharply so that they're facing one another. He looks wary, like he wants to believe it but can't. It makes Tony seethe when he thinks of all the reasons that this is his go-to reaction. "I don't genuinely hate a lot of people, but General Ross is one of those people. He lied to me. He made me an unknowing participant in hurting someone who didn't deserve it." Tony searches Bruce's eyes intently. "I didn't know you were a man."

Bruce's eyes widen and there's a moment of thick tension between them. "Tony… I'm not…" Bruce whispers and shakes his head sadly without breaking their gaze.

Tony takes a chance and steps in a little closer. Bruce closes his eyes and looks for all the world like he's torn and broken and fighting with whatever strength he has left. "You are," Tony says to whatever it was the other man was protesting because he's pretty sure Bruce is wrong about himself even if he understands all too well how easy it must be for him to believe whatever it is he believes. "I know you feel this," Tony says then because it has to be said. There's no use denying it.

Bruce opens his eyes and Tony could drown in them but he wishes they weren't so damned sad. "Of course I feel it." He hangs his head then. "I used to think the whole business of… this… wasn't real. I wish…"

Tony leans in and presses their foreheads together, needing the contact and instantly relishing in how perfect it feels. Bruce sighs and for a moment he thinks maybe he's going to give in and trust him, trust himself, but then he wrenches his eyes closed again and it's like Tony can feel the sensation deep down inside of him. He's a genius so it doesn't take more than a few seconds to work out that Bruce is fighting the merge harder now. Knowing that hurts and makes Tony almost wish they'd never met because to be rejected now that he knows Bruce might trump some of his worst experiences so far in life, and he's had plenty.

"Bruce, if you don't want me…" He starts, voice pitched low, but he doesn't know how to finish it because he's selfish enough not to just let Bruce go that easily.

"Tony, I’m not a man," Bruce says brokenly and pulls back shaking his head firmly.

"There are people who would say the same thing about me," Tony counters and it's the truth. He's pretty sure his body count is higher than anything the Hulk has managed to rack up. "The Merchant of Death? Sound familiar? That was me."

"Yes, was. That _was_ you. I can't—" Bruce chokes and breathes deeply. "I can't _ever_ stop this. I'll always be a risk, Tony. I can't ever be normal again. I can't… I can't have a house or children or a normal job or…" Tony listens and can hear the desperation in his voice as if these are things he's been lamenting for years and has never faced them head on like this out in the open, especially not with the person who for all intents in purposes should be the other half of that hypothetical life. Before this moment, Tony hadn't even realized he himself could want those things, that kind of normalcy, and yet hearing Bruce speak about them makes him think maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was with the physicist. Bruce sighs and looks at him again. "I can't hurt you. Tony, please don't ask me to hurt you."

Tony takes his own deep breath and pulls back a few steps to give Bruce the space he desperately wants. "I'm not," he says with conviction and Bruce looks startled.

Tony doesn't like it, but if Bruce needs time, needs convincing perhaps, then he has no choice but to concede. He just hopes there's still a chance for them.

*   *   *   *

Bruce is grateful when Tony's decryption program finishes running and offers them both, or Tony at least, a distraction. After their moment, Tony had gone back to his station and the silence that had been companionable before was suddenly awkward and that was somehow just as bad as everything else. It felt intrinsically wrong for there to be that much negative energy between them. It begins to dissipate as Tony is focuses intently on his new puzzle and it's a welcome reprieve from having Tony's focus being mostly on him. His very dangerous, hard to resist focus.

Bruce had been too close to giving in. He had wanted it so badly. Tony had been right there, so close, bodies touching just maddeningly enough, and it had been all Bruce could do to focus on all of the reasons he couldn't just let this happen. Tony saying he was a man, it had nearly wrecked him.

But Tony doesn't know that for sure. The beast in his head can roar at him all he wants, roar at him to let their souls merge. It's like he's fighting for control of both the Hulk and his soul at the same time and it's wearing him thin. But Bruce _can't_ hurt Tony, not even on accident should his control slip and the Other Guy decide he's 'needed' for something. How can he possibly trust the Other Guy won't get angry if his soul mate should slip up, be human, and hurt them somehow? How could he ever trust the Other Guy to understand the complexities of making a relationship work and that sometimes it's not perfect even if it's still good at the end of the day? What happens when he and Tony have their first fight? There's just no way he can take that kind of chance.

" _Sonofabitch_ ," Tony mutters angrily, startling him from his thoughts.

"What?" Bruce asks, greatly concerned.

Tony suddenly moves to the screen across the lab, hops onto the workbench and starts pulling up information. "I just found S.H.I.E.L.D.'s closet," he answers, clearly bristling. "It's teaming with skeletons. Of the weapons variety from the looks of it."

Bruce feels a little sick by that. "When you say weapons…" He himself is wanted as a weapon so he can't help but be a little leery.

"They're calling it Phase 2 and it's linked to the Tesseract files. Heavily guarded," he says as he looks down at his phone.

Bruce doesn't think twice. He walks over and around the workbench until he's standing just beside the engineering genius. The other man's leg is all but touching him they're so close and he feels his control start to slip again, but right now there seems to be even bigger concerns as crazy as it seems. Of course Tony had been right to suspect Fury.

He watches as Tony reaches over and quickly pushes aside the notice that access is denied to him and he has to smile a little at that. He has to smile at Tony's disregard of the rules and his ability to get what he wants. Maybe that should scare him a little, but it doesn't. It's intriguing.

"Aha, yep. Look at that," Tony says then pointing to a long list of file names on one side of the screen and then works to try to break them open. "Clean energy my ass. You were right," Tony throws him a quick smile, no less bright than any of his others.

Bruce offers a wan one in return. "We both were apparently. Clearly S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't want anyone knowing about this." The files are hidden under layer after layer of encryption.

"This make you angry?" Tony asks him then and studies him carefully.

Bruce finds that he can't lie. "Yeah, it does."

"Good," Tony says sharply. "Because it pisses me off and I'm glad we're on the same page about it. Fury knows damn well I wouldn't be okay with this. I'm not going to march to his fife if this is where it leads."

Bruce is awed for a moment. Tony's serious about his stance against weapons. It's not all talk and that makes him feel relieved and proud both. "They want the Other Guy for a weapon too," he offers before he can stop himself. Being close like this makes it difficult to hold back parts of himself that he would usually keep guarded.

"Like hell that'll happen," Tony grouses, conviction in his voice, and Bruce finds that he wants to believe him. He wants to say something to that. He wants to…

"What do you think you're doing, Mr. Stark?" Fury interrupts that train of thought and perhaps it's for the best. He takes several steps away from Tony; he needs to put some distance between them.

"Kind of been wondering the same thing about you," Tony challenges the Director as Bruce stands back and squares his shoulders. He may need distance from Tony to stop anything further, but Tony wasn't wrong about them being on the same page about this. And they're linked enough that he'll stand by Tony on this. Maybe it's not safe for them to be lovers, but at the moment he can certainly be the other man's friend and have his back.

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract," Fury accuses.

"We are," Bruce says defensively. "The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

"And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss," Tony says as though it's a natural extension of what Bruce has said, and it sort of feels that way. "What is Phase 2?" Tony then asks and Bruce glances over to see that he's finally cracked all of the encryption necessary to pull up complete files.

Of course, at that moment Steve walks in with a large weapon and slams it down on an empty workstation in the middle of the lab. "Phase 2 is S.H.I.E.L.D. used the cube to make weapons," he says as though he doesn't like the idea any more than they do. Then he has to go and ruin it by turning a condescending look toward Tony. "Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me."

Bruce feels so many different angry emotions coursing through him at once that it's starting to become overwhelming. He knows he's in control, but it's getting harder to want to be. S.H.I.E.L.D. is making weapons, Steve is being an asshole to Tony, and Tony… He just wants to be with him, but he can't!

Fury lies and Tony calls him out on it so smoothly, so perfectly, that Bruce knows he needs to pick one of those first two modems of anger or else he's really going to lose control. At that moment, Natasha comes into the room giving him a target and he selfishly takes it.

"Did you know about this?" He looks at her like she's the enemy because right now she is. She can't be trusted, she doesn't trust him, and if she hadn't dragged him back he never would have had to meet Tony. He never would have had to _know_ what this feeling is like.

"You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?" She asks as if reading his mind, but he knows she doesn't have a clue. Not a damn clue.

"I was in Kolkata. I was pretty well removed," he spits back. He should still be there. He shouldn't be here where Tony is in danger of him. He shouldn't be here where he's in danger of Tony's persistence.

"Loki's manipulating you," she says evenly.

He balks at that because Loki isn't even anywhere near him. Sure, Loki had called him out for being a monster, but that's nothing he didn't already believe and that's nothing she doesn't believe herself. "And you've been doing what exactly?" He calls her on it, making a quick study of Tony's tactics.

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you," she replies indignantly and, okay, she has him there.

He knows now it was because he was destined to meet Tony, but that makes him all the angrier and, frankly, he'll leave on his own terms for Tony and nobody else. And right now Tony needs him. They're in this particular fight together. "Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy." So he turns his anger towards Fury next. "I'd like to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction." He chances a quick glance at Tony and the man looks pleased.

Fury decides to pass the buck and point a finger toward Thor. Bruce doesn't buy it and he knows Tony doesn't either. He can just tell that Tony is fuming underneath his slackened exterior. He realizes that he's not the only one good at masquerading.

"You forced our hand," Fury challenges Thor. "We had to come up with something."

"A nuclear deterrent," Tony all but scoffs and Bruce has to agree. "Because that always calms everything right down."

Fury turns a harsh eye on Tony and Bruce hones in on the exchange. "Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?"

If that wasn't enough to ruffle Bruce's feathers on Tony's account, Steve sticking his condescending nose into the situation is. "I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep in them."

"Wait, wait. Hold on. How is this now about me?" Tony defends himself.

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?" Steve throws back.

Bruce tries to quiet the rumbling in his mind, the voice telling him to go stand by Tony and take on Steve with him, but that's a dangerous voice to listen to. Steve is, after all, not a threat at the end of the day. He's no match for the Other Guy and maybe he's biased but he doesn't think he's a match for Tony either even with all of his super soldier charisma and do-gooder conviction.

"Captain America is on threat watch?" He takes the jab as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Not surprisingly, Tony takes the opening Bruce offers him and adds scathingly, "You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?"

Steve bristles and Bruce preens just a little for Tony's sake. "I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you..."

"Verbal threat!" Tony says theatrically and if Bruce weren't so angry he'd be amused. "Threatening! I'm being threatened." Tony tosses him a quick glance over his shoulder and Bruce knows exactly who that remark is for.

Frankly, Bruce is a little charmed by it in spite of himself.

*   *   *   *

The entire situation is a madhouse. Tony can't honestly say he's surprised. But it's also not at all the way he could have ever imagined being thrown together with his soul mate. When he tells her, Pepper will probably laugh and tell him it figures. Since when has Tony Stark ever _not_ had a flair for the dramatic? Even the universe must agree it suits him. Still, this atmosphere isn't exactly conducive for convincing Bruce to give him a chance. So he'll just have to do his best to work with it and hope it shows Bruce that he trusts him even when things are absolutely…

"You speak of control, yet you courts chaos," Thor supplies and, yes, that's exactly the way to put it. Everything is chaotic.

"It's his M.O., isn't it?" Bruce, the brilliant man that he is, agrees. Tony turns and gives him his full attention because he can't _not_ when Bruce speaks like that, conviction hard in his voice. "I mean, what are we? A team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're… We're a time bomb."

He's certainly not wrong, but Tony briefly wonders if there's something more to that statement. Is Bruce referring to the danger of his being there or to maybe what they would be together? Does he think he's the time bomb?

"You need to step away," Fury tells him and Tony won't stand for it.

He sees his opportunity to let Bruce know he trusts him, both sides of him, and takes it. "Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" He asks, throwing a casual hand on Steve's shoulder and hoping the Other Guy knows that at this point he could smash Captain America and he'd be perfectly fine with it. Okay, maybe he wouldn't be a good stabilizing agent in Bruce's like and suddenly he realizes the other man probably has good reason to think they'd be a chemical mixture that would make chaos – if that's what he'd been thinking.  
  
"You know damn well why! Back off!" Steve throws off his hand and, honestly, he'll take the super soldier down himself now if he has to because he really doesn't like Rogers' continued condescension toward Bruce's control or the man telling him to back off his own damn soul mate.

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me," he challenges.

Unsurprisingly, Steve rises to that bait and circles him. "Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Tony responds, unfazed. It's hard not for him to feel a little peacocky with Bruce still standing nearby and very obviously paying attention to this little power struggle.

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you." He'll have to give the soldier credit. He hits where it hurts. For someone who's supposed to be a symbol of freedom and American self-righteousness, he sure knows how to hit below the belt. "I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play," he says and Tony's eyes break from their intense fix on Steve to look at Bruce. Does Bruce think that? Or if Bruce decides to leave in the end, could Tony actually let him go without fighting it? "To lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you?"

 _The Other Guy?_ he thinks for half a second before replying, "I think I would just cut the wire." Because that's not a sacrifice he's yet willing to make as far as letting Bruce go is concerned. He just doesn't know if he's strong enough.

"Always a way out," Steve mocks him and Tony briefly registers that Bruce looks like he might actually attack the super soldier if he keeps it up. It probably shouldn't be reassuring, but it is. "You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

At that Tony loses it. Because he doesn't need that reminder. He doesn't need the reminder that he's nothing special, that he's a killer, that his own father didn't think he was good enough, that his surrogate uncle tried to kill him, that Yinsen was dead because of him, that he was once going to kill himself regardless of the fact that Bruce was out there waiting for him, that he had a hand in making weapons aimed at the Hulk, that his own soul mate may reject him! Who does Captain fucking America think he is?

"A hero? Like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers," he spits venomously. "Everything special about you came out of a bottle."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, it dawns on him. Bruce was for all intents and purposes a laboratory experiment gone wrong. He goes deep into his mind, his genius mental bank of memories, and tries to recall that horrible night that he'd almost ended it. Then with clarity he realizes the dates match up. Bruce's accident was shortly after his failed attempt. From there his thoughts spin out of control because it can't be a coincidence. It fits perfectly within the mechanics of how the link or merge works. He knows they haven't merged because they've never met before this, but his feeling of having had the thought before makes sense now. This seems to prove that they must have been linked. But how? _When?_

"Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds."

He barely registers Steve's challenge because his mind is still too busy trying to scan his memories for when he could have possibly been linked to Bruce. It certainly predates his suicide attempt if his working theory is correct, but how far back? How can he not remember meeting someone like Bruce? How can he not remember… _a faceless brunet_ —

"Yeah, this is a team," Bruce says and he feels himself drawn out of his mind with force.

He blinks and rubs his eyes and suddenly he glances at Bruce with burgeoning clarity. He still doesn't know how or when, but he _knows_ that he's had to have met him or seen him. He knows that they've been linked for years without a doubt now. Bruce is the faceless brunet that has haunted him off and on, the one he never recalls until it happens again – like déjà vu. He's been there the whole time like a phantom just out of reach.

He wonders if there's any precedence for this. Is this why some claim they don't have soul mates? Do they almost meet or meet and for some reason don't actually register _the thought_ and then part ways never to meet again in spite of the link?

He doesn't have time to run through the data right now, but he's suddenly more determined to keep Bruce. He can't let the phantom slip out of his grasp again. Not now that the phantom has a face.

*   *   *   *

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his—"

Bruce all but rolls his eyes as he cuts Fury off. "Where? You rented my room."

He can feel his emotions spiraling out of control. Nothing makes sense anymore. His entire life has been one big disaster. This is becoming dangerous.

Fury tries again. "The cell was just—"

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't," he cuts him off again because he's just so tired. He's fighting so many things and he's _tired_. He's feeling less and less like a man and more like the monster they all think he is. "I know. I tried."

Everyone thinks that except Tony he remembers and looks at him in time to see the broken expression settle across the engineer's face, although there's a flash of something like clarity in his eyes. Maybe now Tony will see why he's not worth the effort. He's just grateful that he hadn't met Tony before now or else who knows what that would have meant for the other man if other soul mate mechanics are true. The Hulk would have definitely been angry at him then for good reason…

That gives him sudden pause and he starts thinking about that moment in time even as he tells them about it. "I got low. I didn't see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the Other Guy spit it out."

_Puny Banner! Tries to hurt mate!_

He blinks at the memory, looking at Tony as he does, and the very impossible, and slightly terrifying, notion that he and Tony had already been linked somehow enters his mind. He banishes it just as quickly and presses forward.

"So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk." _Put Tony at risk,_ he doesn't say aloud, but suddenly he's so angry at that prospect that his brain short circuits and he wants to finally give them the monster they're clamoring for. He wants to show them just how easy he can call up the Other Guy before they even have a chance to see it coming. "You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?"

"Dr. Banner." Steve's voice cuts through his thoughts, but only because he's just as willing to challenge him as he is Natasha. So he turns a sharp gaze on him only to realize Tony's looking at him in concern. It calms the rumble in his mind and he hears Steve clearly when he says, "Put down the scepter."

He looks down at the object that he hadn't even registered picking up and all at once he realizes this is exactly why he can't trust himself. He looks back up at Tony. What would have happened if he'd let himself lose control? Would Tony have been safe? What does Tony think of him now that he'd almost lost it, almost attacked? With any luck, he'll finally let this impossible notion of their being together go.

A shrill alarm goes off in the room then and Bruce gathers himself as Tony casually announces that they've got the location of the Tesseract.

"Sorry kids," he reaches for morbid humor because he's just so tired and broken and it's just about all he has left. "You don't get to see my party trick after all." And with any luck it'll stay that way.

He walks over to the computer to find the location and ignores the bickering that breaks out yet again. He has instinctive feelings for Tony, but he's going to have to carry on alone from here. He can't trust himself to get in the middle again. One false move at this point and he thinks the Other Guy might decide that he's needed.

As the computer reaches the full match he pulls off his glasses in realization. He would somehow know those coordinates anywhere. "Oh my god," he says and looks over at Tony. Loki means to destroy Manhattan and he means to use Tony's own genius and ego to do it. The answer had been there all along. Loki had given them the answer from the very beginning. Not just any warm light, not just clean energy, _Tony's_ warm light. He had made it personal. "Tony—"

The lab goes up in flames. Bruce is thrown through the nearby window and violently against a floor several feet down. His mind is wracked with a sudden sea of green as the Other Guy begins to assert his need to come out. He barely registers Natasha is trapped beside him as he pounds against the floor, trying desperately not to drown in that green sea.

"We're okay, right?" She asks him and of course they're not!

He's got to get out of there. He's got to stop the Other Guy from coming out now. No matter how much he distrusts her, no matter how much he resents her, he doesn't want to be the monster that ends her. He doesn't want to end anybody.

"We're gonna be okay. Listen to me. We're gonna be okay. Right?" He can smell her fear and it repulses him. He doesn't want this! "I swear on my life I will get you out of this. You will walk away and never…"

Never have Tony! Never have what he wants! Never have what he now knows could have been his if things in his life hadn't been so messed up! Who does she think she is to swear on _her_ life? She's a liar and her life means nothing to him. "Your life?" He growls, and he's all but lost now. The sea of green is slowly turning into that familiar place where he'll be trapped until the Other Guy lets him come back again. He has precious few minutes to try and get away, to give her a chance to run…

In the end it's too late.                                          

*   *   *   *

Bruce has never been inside his subconscious prison during an uncontrolled incident before this point. He's surprised to find himself in Central Square amidst a frenzied sea of faceless people pushing around him, crowding him. He tries to move, but he can't. He's stuck there in a throng of people and it's suffocating and feels utterly wrong for some reason. It almost feels like there's someone in the crowd that he's supposed to be trying to find, someone he's looking for, someone he needs to get to, but he just can't move.

In the 'sky' above he sees the events taking place outside of his, or Hulk's, mind only it's fuzzier than usual and he can feel his own panic palpably. The Hulk roars at Natasha and he panics. When his panic surges the crowd around him seems to become more frenzied as if in response and the feeling of needing to get to someone grows stronger.

Out of control, the monster chases Natasha through the bowels of the Helicarrier. Thankfully she's not a normal victim without skill. She is deft and nimble and is able to lose the Hulk's tail at one point. It's a brief moment and Bruce almost sighs in relief, but then the Hulk finds her and he panics again.

The crowd around him somehow thickens and he glances around, looking for that someone his mind keeps telling him is there. He feels eyes which makes no sense as he they're all faceless. Still he turns toward that feeling even if he's not at all shocked when there's nobody there looking at him directly.

He thinks for a moment though that there's a glimpse of somebody, somebody different in that direction. His eyes are drawn there until a blinding flash draws his attention back toward the outside chase and he screams, "No!"

The Hulk is right on top of Natasha and then there's a colossal arm in his line of sight and the ground rumbles with the force as it bats Natasha out of the way like a rag doll.

"No!" He screams again. "You can't do this! Don't hurt her! She doesn't know any better!" He pleads and the crowd begins to lessen slowly around him. "She's just afraid! She's afraid like me! Don't hurt her! She doesn't know about Tony! She doesn't know what she's caused. _Please_." His voice falls to a pained whisper as he fears the worst will still happen. Hulk is bounding toward her, poised to smash the traitor. "She doesn't know we're not… We're not a monster, remember? Tony doesn't think we're a monster. So don't be."

Suddenly the monster pauses and at the same time his eyes are torn left and there's a faceless brunet that stands out among the crowd. The urge to run to him is strong, but he can't. He can't! He's desperate and angry because the need is so strong.

Then he feels the sensation of the Hulk being attacked by something in the waking world and for the first time since learning his party trick, the crowd and space around him vanishes and he drowns in a sea of green into unconsciousness.

*   *   *   *

Tony knows his heart is heavy because the light of his arc reactor has gone dim. Like Rogers had said, he's not a hero. So he's not sure he would have hurried to save the day with the turbine if he had known what he would lose in the process. He knows the Hulk is mostly indestructible, but is he so indestructible that he can fall from such a height? What if Bruce comes back to and runs away because of the danger, because it's his chance to escape? It's a reasonable hypothesis.

Then there's Agent Coulson. Tony would have rescued him too if only he could have. Somewhere his soul mate will be forced to pick up the pieces of an unbalanced life and try to move on alone if she can at all. The weaker souls tend to die from grief while even the strongest tend to be somewhat miserable and empty for the rest of their days, and most typically alone with the exception of friends and family.

It seems to work like most birds in the wild; once you find that one right person and have experienced the merge with them your life is so complete that the thought of sharing a life with anyone in that same capacity is impossible. There have been some who have tried, but the results are always greatly mixed with the general conclusion that it's never the same level of intimacy as had been with the other person.

He knows that Coulson's soul mate is not one of the weaker souls. She never has been. He doesn't know if she can even feel his death because most people just don't talk about that moment, the moment when the other soul leaves. He has to assume though that she does because even merely linked to Bruce, his heart is heavy with the dread of maybe never finding him again. He can't even imagine how he would feel if Bruce were to die – if it's at all even possible.

"These were in Phil Coulson's jacket," Fury says as he and Steve sit at conference table.

As the Director talks, Tony keeps his head turned left. He can't look behind him to that spot where he and Bruce had shaken hands. He can't look at Coulson's cards. He can't do anything but hurt.

"We're dead in the air up here," Fury continues. "Our communications, location of the cube, Banner," Tony's chest tightens at that and he closes his eyes, "Thor. I got nothing for you." Fury doesn't even know how true his words are. He has absolutely nothing that Tony wants. There's nothing to keep him here. "Lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming." Fury pauses. "Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract."

Tony startles a little. Bruce had agreed with him on that. In spite of everything, in spite of his obvious desire to reject him, he'd had his back on that. Bruce had been angry about it just like him. It had been a moment in time where they were in sync. Maybe Bruce would be angry with him if he didn't stick around to make sure S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't get their warmongering way. Even if Fury says, he hadn't placed all his chips on that, he'd still placed enough just in case.  
  
"There was an idea. Stark knows this." He wants to balk at that because right now the only thing he knows is if it weren't for that idea, that idea he hadn't even been initially invited to be part of, he would have never met Bruce and he's not even sure if that's good or bad anymore. There was more than an idea, there _was a thought_ and now he knows why. "Called The Avengers Initiative," Fury continues. "The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more."

 _Something more_. Again, Fury has no clue. He has no clue at all. He feels his blood begin to boil because that idea brought them together and now they were apart again. He needs Bruce. He needs him. He's never been more sure of anything. But the world needs him too. He's not a hero. He doesn't do sacrifice. But Coulson had sacrificed even knowing the potential grief he was leaving in his wake should it go wrong. Tony hasn't merged with Bruce, may never get that chance, but he has to fight for that chance. He has to fight to protect the Earth.

Maybe it's his one last shot at redemption after all these years of misfires.


	5. Central Square

Bruce doesn't know what to do, what to think, when he wakes up from the incident. He hasn't woken up disoriented and forgetful of an incident in so long, partially because he hasn't _had_ an incident in so long. It was like it had been a test of just how bad it still could get. He recalls nearly going to kill Natasha before the unconsciousness had taken him so apparently it can still get pretty bad.

That's precisely why there's no easy answer to the security guard's question of whether he has somewhere he needs to be. He can see Stark Tower in the distance and he wants more than anything to go to it and stay there for as long as Tony is there. But now more than ever he has a reason to worry about Tony's safety if he were to give into that want.

Still as he stands on the edge of the city he can't fight a thought that tells him he'll regret it for the rest of his already miserable life if he doesn't give in this time. He can't shake the feeling that he needs to be at Stark Tower more than he's needed anything else ever. He can't ignore the roar in his head that says Tony needs him to be there.

So he goes.

 

Tony doesn't know if they have a Hulk. He only knows that he'll get great satisfaction from defeating Loki for calling him a beast.

Tony doesn't know if Bruce will show up when he asks Steve to keep him posted. He only knows that all of his thoughts tell him that he needs Bruce to be here for at least this one final battle more than he's needed anything else ever.

And Bruce comes.

*   *   *   *

Tony doesn't know how it will end, but Bruce is not only there, he gave into the Hulk to fight alongside them. So they can do this together. That's at least as it should be he thinks.

Then Fury says the unfathomable and he knows he has a choice. There's a nuke coming to destroy them all, maybe even the Hulk couldn't survive that – he just doesn't know. He has a thought that tells him everything has been leading to this moment. Is he a hero? Can he make the sacrifice play? Will Bruce forgive him if he does? Or will Bruce be better off if it doesn't end well? None of it matters because he knows what he has to do. If all of Manhattan is destroyed, and maybe Bruce along with it, he'll never forgive himself. It would be selfish not to make this call and he's been selfish too many damn times in his life as it is.

When Natasha comes over the com with the news that she thinks she can close the portal, he makes the decision.

"I got a nuke coming in," he tells them. "It's gonna blow in less than a minute." He looks up at the open portal to space, it's bizarre and he hasn't had time to really process the gravity of this strange new world they're living in, and is grateful that he and Bruce didn't merge. "And I know just where to put it." For the first time, he's truly grateful that Bruce had planned on rejecting him because just as Steve says in response, he knows that it's a one way trip.

He asks JARVIS to save the rest for the turn just in case though. He wants to be optimistic. He wants to make it back to see Bruce again even if it means he'll have to let him go when he does.  
  
"Shall I try Miss Potts?" JARVIS asks him.

He decides that if there's anyone other than Bruce who he might speak to last, he's more than okay with it being her. He wants to tell her to be strong. He wants to tell her that Phil died a hero. He wants to assure her he'll die to make sure that his sacrifice wasn't in vain.

And he wants to ask her to make sure his legacy is one that keeps Dr. Bruce Banner safe at all costs.

*   *   *   *

Bruce stands alone in Central Square or the reasonable facsimile of it in their shared head space as he watches the battle unfurl in the outside world. As he lets the Hulk take care of these creatures that he knows the team would have been outmatched against without at least one heavy hitter, since even with the Hulk they're pretty outmatched, he thinks about how the first words he'd heard when he joined them was Steve telling Tony that he had arrived. It was as if Tony had been waiting for him. He realizes he probably had been because Tony seems to believe in both the man and monster that he is. He also recalls Natasha's change of face. She had nearly seen death at the Hulk's hands and still thinks they could use worse. He's not sure if she respects that power now that she's seen it firsthand or if there's something more precarious there, her calculating the use of him as a weapon, but it's a little comforting given what the Hulk had almost done.

It's not comforting enough to think he could stay after all of this is over, should it even end in their favor. Tony might believe, but he still doesn't. Natasha might respect him or his ability to be a weapon, but it's that power that he still doesn't trust. It's the power that suddenly smashes Loki into the floor of Stark's penthouse that reminds him that the Other Guy is a force to be reckoned with and shows no mercy… Well, he hadn't gone out of his way to _kill_ Loki so maybe he shows a little mercy.

He only realizes that the battle is starting to take its toll when slowly but surely the space around him begins to fill with faceless people as if making to box him in. It's still a new anomaly, but he thinks it means that the Hulk is either tired or afraid or both. Or maybe it's his exhaustion, his own fear that causes it because he's still very much both of those things.

He only realizes something is wrong when the Hulk's vision shifts and the whole space fills with more and more people. His heart nearly stops as he sees through the Other Guy's eyes, Tony flying with a missile on his back directly toward the portal.

"No," he gasps and there are more people around him then. "Please, no!" He shakes his head and there are so many people now that he begins to suffocate, but he can't do that. He can't drown this time. "Tony, god, Tony, why!?" He shouts, knowing that there's nobody to hear him. "Hulk, we… We have to help him somehow," he begs and then he hears the grunt of agreement that shakes the entire space.

The Hulk barrels toward the tower, eyes ever on the sky even though Tony can't be seen. And then it happens. Tony is falling back down to earth, to his inevitable doom. He can't even find his voice to cry out.

The space fills with people, so many people, and Bruce has to wrench his eyes away from the sky because his urge to find the one person in the crowd comes over him so strongly that he couldn't fight it even if he tried.

His eyes scan, his head jerks around frantically, and then there he is. A faceless man with dark hair comes into view and then he turns.

Bruce gasps just as the Hulk catches Tony from the sky. The faceless man is Tony. Déjà vu washes over him. It's as if Tony has always been there. Suddenly there are memories of a dream, a persistent dream and of Hulk's knowing that Betty was not the one, that the others were not Tony. He knows now the Hulk has been trying to tell him all along that Tony has always been there somehow.

Suddenly, impossibly, the space fills up more and he can feel the panic and start to feel the green. Tony begins to get lost in the crowd and Bruce jerks his head up to see Tony's lifeless face.

"Tony!" He screams and never before have they been in sync but the Hulk roars along with him, as if giving voice to his cry in the outside world.

The light in Tony's armor returns and Tony's eyes snap open with a start and suddenly the space in Central Square is empty again. Bruce closes his eyes in relief as Tony begins his endless gabbling about shawarma. Tony is safe. Tony is alive.

Bruce's choice is harder than ever now.

*   *   *   *

"Is she okay?" Natasha asks him as soon as he ends the call with Pepper.

He sighs and shakes his head. "No… But she's alive for now and that's what matters," Tony says solemnly.

"It is," Natasha agrees with a slight nod as they stand there alone. Steve and Clint are helping with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s efforts to cleanup and Thor has escorted Loki to a detention cell at HQ.

Well there, not entirely alone. He glances over to where Bruce sleeps unconscious on the couch. He had moved him there once he'd shrunk back down. He wonders a little if he's always unconscious for an indeterminate amount of time before he comes to or if he's just plain exhausted from the stress of transforming twice within 24 hours. Maybe on top of the stress of having found his soul mate. He's sure it was the last thing Bruce had expected when he'd agreed to come in. He wonders if he would have come at all if he had. But then he reminds himself that Bruce had come back to fight so clearly the man is more resilient than he gives himself credit for. If only there was a way to make him see that they could make it work somehow as long as it means they're together.

"What's it like?" Natasha breaks through his thoughts and he turns to her questioningly. He knows he's probably been completely transparent, or at least for someone like her. "I may not know what it's like personally, but I'm not an idiot. I've seen it happen enough times to others, how they act after the fact, to have a pretty good idea. I don't think Dr. Banner would have come with me if he hadn't felt the supposed inclination that goes along with this type of thing. And, let's be honest, Stark. You've been batting your eyelashes at him since you two met."

Tony scoffs at that because it's not how he rolls in terms of seduction. Peacock, sure. School girl or femme fatal, not at all. Not that his eyelashes aren't incredibly long, so maybe if that'll get Bruce's attention he'll add it to his bag of tricks just in case.

Then it hits him what she'd asked. "Wait, Clint's not…?" He gives her a strange look. "I just assumed he was with the way you were trying to save him."

She shrugs and sits down on the ottoman. "I wouldn't know." His eyes narrow as he sits down near Bruce's feet. "I know you've read my file and probably the ones you're not supposed to have seen after the whole Rushman act."

"Guilty," he admits. "But mostly because I was pissed at you for not recommending me for the Initiative."

"Right. So let's not pretend you don't know about my ledger. Red Room," she clarifies. "They programmed us and reprogrammed us so many times that I don't even know who I am some days. For all intents and purposes I was reborn when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I only remember my ledger after a certain point and whatever they allowed me to remember from before that time." She pauses and Tony gives her the silence she needs. "Sometimes there are bits and pieces, flashes of ghosts. At least I think they are. But I don't even know if that's a programmed past. I don't know if I ever even took ballet," she says shaking her head and shrugging. She seems resigned to her fate.

"So I really don't think there's any way I could know if I had a soul mate even if I did. I hope I don't. There…" She scrunches her face and purses her lips harshly as she looks at nothing in particular. Then she softens with what he thinks is as close to defeat as he'll ever have the privilege of seeing. "There are some ghosts that make me wonder. There's a memory of a boy. But I don't know if he was my soul mate. I don't even know if he's alive. Or real. I guess I was just asking what it's like because I have a morbid curiosity about it."

Tony looks at Bruce and then back toward her, trying to keep sympathy out of his features because he's sure that's the last thing she'd want from him. "I think Bruce and I have a special case," he indulges her. "I think we might have met a long time ago and didn't know it." She tilts her head slightly, puzzled looking. "I have this sinking feeling that his accident was my fault. I… I tried to kill myself once and the dates match up. That's only suppose to happen if—"

"There's a link," she says knowingly. "So you've been linked for years you think?" He shrugs, but nods because as best as he can figure it that seems to be the case. He wonders if Bruce even knows or suspects. "And the merge? I've heard it's indescribable. I've also heard it's different for everyone."

"I wouldn't know," he echoes her sentiment and she looks at him skeptically. He looks back at Bruce. "I think he means to reject it." He tells her not because he overly trusts her, but because he can't very well talk to Pepper about it with her current state of mind and Rhodey is on the other side of the world. Natasha is the only other person he has at the moment he's willing to talk to.

"You really think he could?" Natasha asks in almost disbelief. "I got the impression he's very into you," she offers and he has to smile. "Like he might have even been into you without the soul mate thing is the impression I got," she adds.

"I'm fairly certain he is," Tony replies. "He said he wasn't a believer in soul mates before this happened so I don't think he knows how to handle it now that it has. I also think he's trying to protect me from the Hulk. I think he's scared the Other Guy will hurt me."

Natasha studies him for a moment and he turns just in time to see the flash of memory fall across her face. "And you're not? I've seen that Other Guy. It takes a lot to rattle me, but that was something else entirely."

"Doesn't scare me. Maybe it can't because of the soul mate thing, I don't know."

"He saved you." Tony blinks at her. "What do you remember after the missile hit?"

He inhales sharply, but then the fear passes. "I remember cold darkness. And…" He furrows his brow. "Falling?"

"Yeah, you fell alright," she says with almost humor in her voice. "You were unconscious all the way to the ground, Stark. The Hulk caught you before Thor had a chance to try. Then according to Steve the Hulk roared and you came back to us. Maybe he restarted you heart," she says with a broad shouldered shrug, hands coming up off her knees a little.

He looks at Bruce then and can't tear his eyes away from him. He sees the man's eyes begin to blink behind his lids as though waking up. "I don't know what to do with that," he says honestly.

He sees her stand out of the corner of his eye. "Just like I wouldn't know what to do with the thought even if I ever felt it," she offers in turn. "But I've heard it said you're a genius, Stark. I think you'll figure it out."

"Maybe we both will," he offers and unsurprisingly she doesn't respond to the sentiment, only leaves them alone.

"Where am I?" Bruce asks, slowly opening his eyes a few minutes later. He slowly lifts up so that he's propped on his elbows. "Tony?"

He smiles warmly. "I would call you sleeping beauty, but she doesn't hold a candle to you."

He seems taken off guard by that and lays back down. "What happened after…" He pauses and his face darkens for a moment and Tony wonders if he can remember saving him from near-death. "Did we win? I always tend to forget the last little bit."

"Yeah, we won. The city looks like shit, but we won," he answers with a small laugh and Bruce snorts almost inaudibly. Even with the bizarre circumstances, their little quiet exchange feels companionable. It's like he's already spoiled for even the weird soft moments like this. "Thor took Loki to HQ. And the others are helping S.H.I.E.L.D. with prelim clean up. Then we're going to go for—"

"Shawarma," Bruce says knowingly and Tony smiles. If he remembers that then there's a chance Bruce also remembers that his alter ego saved him and helped save the city. So he won't push him on the subject unless he needs to. The physicist sits up completely, pulling the blanket up over him as he does. "Thanks. For this," he clarifies.

Tony's smile widens into something closer to a leer. "You kidding? _Least_ I could do. Not that I'm a prude or anything," Bruce snorts a little more audibly at that, "but you're _my_ soul mate and I'm more than okay with others not taking advantage of your indecency. You'll maybe be happy to know that _I_ didn't even take advantage of it." He pauses and then his smile is all teeth. "Much."

Bruce laughs slow and gravelly and shakes his head for a moment, but then his mood dampens and Tony guesses that the gravity of what they're discussing has settled in again. Bruce sighs. "Thank you again. But we should probably talk about this. It's been a long day and I don't think I have any strength left to do that now though. In fact… I think maybe we shouldn't be around each other until—"

"Until what?" Tony asks, feeling his stomach twist into knots.

Bruce closes his eyes. "Look, Tony. I'm confused. And I'm scared. I'll admit it. I need a little time to breathe, okay? So after shawarma, I'm going to go back to HQ or the Helicarrier and try to breathe. I can't… I can't do it with you so close to me."

Tony frowns and looks away. He doesn't like how Bruce is being so candid about the probability of his saying no and how he needs space to get enough courage _to_ say no. So as long as they're being candid, "I tried to kill myself once."

"What?" Bruce straightens immediately and Tony turns back just in time to see a hint of green in his eyes. Bruce repositions himself on the couch, still clutching the blanket, so that he's a little closer.

Tony huffs. "The dates match up, Bruce. I tried to kill myself, it didn't work and shortly after you had your accident. It's my fault."

There's a tense silence between them for a moment and he can see Bruce parsing through the information behind his dark eyes. "Then we're even."

"How's that make sense?" Tony looks at him skeptically.

Bruce sighs. "After I tried to kill myself, I woke up in South America. One of the first bits of news that I was confronted with was your presumed capture by terrorists." Bruce looks at him then. "Those dates match up too. I didn't think anything of it at the time…" He knits his brow for a moment. "No, that's not true. I did think something. I didn't understand it at the time because I knew about the weapons, but I felt really sad about it."

Tony blinks a few times at the story and then considers it along with the different angles. "Okay, but you wouldn't have gotten that low, wouldn't have even been in that position, if I hadn't started it. So it's still—"

"You can't know that," Bruce replies sharply. "One of the reasons I fought the idea of soul mates being real is because I didn't like the idea of my life and choices not being just my own. I didn't like the responsibility of my actions being thrust on somebody else or the responsibility of knowing my actions could hurt somebody else."

"Yeah, okay," Tony nods, "and I get that. But we're probably a rare case. We didn't know we had linked so we made our choices blindly."

"We _might_ be a rare case. You don't know that doesn't explain a lot of people's problems and it's… It's a little terrifying," Bruce says with a minute nod and quirked face.

"True," Tony concedes. "I'm just trying to say… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't try to hang on. And if it means losing you because of where my actions led, then maybe I deserve that. Maybe it's better for you too. I know theoretically it's not supposed to work like that, but hypothetically maybe you can find someone better or at least a life that makes you happier."

"Tony…" Bruce starts. He then rubs his forehead a little before pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't understand the science of it okay, but I'm not going to blame you for letting my anger and pride get the better of me. That's just not fair. I could have handled it differently. And I didn't know I was playing with fire before you ever got that low so the risk was always there. I won't blame you for that even if it happens to be true to even a little extent. Like you said, we couldn't have known. I won't because I—" Bruce stops himself short and then looks away. "I just can't, okay?"

"Okay," Tony says gently. Then he sighs, deciding to change the subject. "Do you want a shower and change of clothes before we head out?"

Bruce gives him an appreciative smile that Tony hopes he'll be able to remember if Bruce leaves him.

*   *   *   *

Bruce is walking back to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ with Clint, Natasha and Thor after their meal. He's still pretty exhausted, but at least he's fed now. Tony had bought him as much as he could stand and then let him have some of his leftovers on top of it. He smiles thinking about it. And of course even though he's walking one way his heart is going the other direction, but he's still convinced it's for the best.

He needs to think about everything. He needs to think about how the Other Guy saved Tony. He needs to think about how Tony doesn't seem to be worried enough to push him away. He needs to think about how Tony had shown up in his shared head space. He needs to think about the implications of how long they've been linked and how their choices were likely effecting each other for better or worst. Was there even any for better moments? He just needs to think.

"I'm a little surprised that worked out," Clint says conversationally as they walk. "I had Loki in my head so you can imagine I didn't have much faith in our half-assed little team."

Natasha snorts. "Don't let Fury hear you say that."

"Eh, I'd be more concerned about Co—" He stops himself just in time. They all stop and look around at each other awkwardly. Bruce didn't really know Agent Coulson, but the other three had and he stops out of respect. "How's Pepper taking it?" Clint looks at Natasha questioningly.

"Not well," Natasha answers. "She's in denial apparently. Tony said she started texting him saying it doesn't feel like he's dead, not like the stories describe anyway and that she's been bombarded by thoughts about Tahiti."

Bruce furrows his brow, not quite understanding. "Tony knows Coulson's soul mate?"

Natasha nods in his direction. "She's the CEO of Stark Industries. I guess you didn't hear about that abroad did you?"

"Um, no," Bruce admits.

"Yeah, Stark gave her the company when he was dying from palladium poisoning," she explains.

He blinks with wide eyes. "What the hell did I do to cause that?" He mutters a little too loudly and Natasha snorts again.

"Probably nothing," she says and he realizes she caught on or already knew somehow. "Look, Doctor. Tony Stark can get into enough trouble on his own with or without your choices."

"Wait, they're soul mates?" Clint asks, eyebrows shooting up. "My condolences, doc," he then says very seriously as if Bruce is the one who should be disturbed by the idea of being matched with Tony and not the other way around.

"Uh… Thanks?" He raises an eyebrow. "No, honestly, I think he's pretty great," he says then with a shrug and tries to will away the smile just thinking about it.

Clint laughs. "Well, yeah, _you_ would. But he's a handful, Banner. And the sooner you realize that the sooner you can stop worrying over all that mumbo jumbo about how choices affect your soul mate."

"I used to think it was mumbo jumbo too, but it seems to be true," Bruce counters.

"Oh, I'm not saying it's not. I'm not one of those anti-mutant types or whatever," he says with enough insensitivity that disarms Bruce for a moment. "I’m just saying even though that stuff might be true to some extent, it's way more complex than that and I think that's why everybody's so up in arms about it in general. I mean take Pepper and," he stutters for a moment, "Coulson. Their meeting when they did was contingent on Tony being captured by terrorists." Bruce narrows his eyes immediately. "S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't give a damn about Stark until he came back from Afghanistan alive. Phil volunteered for that assignment because he said he just knew he was supposed to. Then he laid eyes on Pepper and that was that. Miss Potts? She was Stark's assistant for years before that happened. And Coulson likes… Liked to talk about how when he first laid eyes on her she was dancing with Stark and he was maybe going to make a pass at her. You can imagine how that felt."

Bruce knows Tony had been a notorious playboy, but he also knows he'd been in a serious relationship with Betty so these things can't be helped. Still he can imagine how it would feel if it was now and it was a similar circumstance. Not that he has that right because if he lets Tony go, Tony can do whatever he pleases and nobody will be to blame but himself.

Suddenly the realization of what Clint had been driving at settles down deep somewhere. "Wait, so you're saying you don't think Pepper and Phil would have met if not for Tony becoming Iron Man?"

Clint sniffs and then shrugs. "I’m saying it would have been less likely or it would have taken longer. That's just how this whole fate thing seems to go. I don't think it's as black and white as everybody seems to try and make it out to be. Probably why people can reject it if they want, you know? Anyway take Tony's palladium thing. Did you cause him to almost die or are you the reason he found a cure just in time? Or did neither of you have anything to do with it because maybe Stark just had to live so he could carry that nuke up into space? You know? That's too much heavy shit to walk around with so just go with the whole 'there are no accidents' mantra and live your life." Then Clint sighs and hangs his head. "Look, I hate it, but I seriously believe even Phil's decision today was his own and may have just been the way it was supposed to go. If I don't think that then it cheapens his heroism and I can't do that."

"Indeed," Thor chimes in. "The fates are strange mistresses and we may yet live to tell the epic tale of Coulson's noble sacrifice and all that it wrought."

Bruce only nods because his mind is spinning at Clint's comment about Stark having survived to carry a nuke into space. Suddenly destiny has never seemed more real in his mind. Maybe if they had met years ago when they had linked none of this would have happened, but maybe because they didn't this is why it had to take so many twists and turns to get them to this point. It wasn't pretty and maybe they could have gotten there sooner, but they didn't.

It dawns on him that the without Tony, maybe there wouldn't be the Hulk, but maybe without the Hulk there wouldn't be an Iron Man. And maybe other things, Phil and Pepper notwithstanding, never would have happened. Maybe it's all so mind numbingly interwoven like Clint suggests that there's nothing to do _but_ try and do the best as one can and not worry about all the little puzzle pieces that may or may not add up to a clear picture anyway.

They're walking again, he's not sure when they'd even started back up their trek, when suddenly he sees a bus and all at once he feels an inclination as strong as the one he'd felt when he had wondered if he should come back to fight. It's as strong as the one he had felt telling him to come in at all. Clint's words echo in his ears and there's an insistent roar in his mind that he can't ignore, he _won't_ ignore. He's going to do the crazy thing for once and do what his thoughts are telling him to do and see where it leads.

"Where's the nearest bus station that offers night departures?" he asks suddenly as he reaches down into his pocket and feels the money that Tony inconspicuously placed there, he guesses as a means to help him should he take off and run without saying goodbye.

They all stop to look at him strangely.

"Chinatown," Clint supplies hesitantly.

"There's a debriefing tomorrow afternoon, Dr. Banner," Natasha says evenly, but makes no actual effort to stop him.

"And I'll try to make it," he says with a shrug. "But I think I've got somewhere I need to be."

*   *   *   *

The sun is still in its early morning ascent and some businesses are still closed as Bruce makes his way into the heart of Central Square on foot. He doesn't even know if his destination still exists, but after seeing it in his mind so many times in recent years he at least knows for a fact where it used to be and he can go to the general location.

To his surprise, and a little wave of nostalgic delight, the eatery is still there. It doesn't open until the early lunch hour so he takes a peek through the window to see how much it's changed. From what he can tell it's been updated but is still mostly the same in terms of layout and such. He steps back on his heels away from the window and stands there. He's not even sure how much time passes because he feels frozen in place.

He thinks about how he should probably move, should probably try to get back to Manhattan in time for the debriefing lest Fury send S.H.I.E.L.D. attack dogs after him, but he feels the stubborn inclination to just keep standing there. He's pretty sure early commuters are looking at him like he's crazy and he probably shouldn't loiter because how the hell will he explain this to an officer…

Then suddenly it happens. Like déjà vu he feels eyes on him and this time he doesn't even miss a beat. He turns his head sharply to his left and his eyes widen. Tony is standing there in his suit, faceplate up, and gaping at him like he's just as surprised. Immediately Tony's suit opens and folds down into a briefcase that Bruce would marvel at if not for the fact that he couldn't care less right now about Tony's engineering genius because all he cares about is hurrying over to the genius engineer.

They both bridge the gap with quick strides, entwining their hands in perfect synchronicity when they meet. They study each other for a few long moments as if they've never met before this moment, have never seen one another's faces.

"I couldn't stop thinking about Central Square when I went home last night. Even kept dreaming about it," Tony says. "I had no idea you'd be here."

Bruce can't help but smile. "After dinner I had this crazy thought that I had to come to Central Square. I spent the last five hours on a bus," he says with a rusty laugh and Tony grimaces in pity.

"Fate must have a hell of a sense of humor. It could have just told you to come back to Stark Tower. Or we could have met in the middle. I'm flexible," Tony gabbles and although he sounds like he's complaining, there's a wide smile on his face.

Bruce hums thoughtfully. "Maybe it was a test. To see if we would just go with it?"

"I've done crazier things. I’m a little surprised _you_ went with it," Tony replies, his lips quirking up to one side as he confesses.

Bruce tilts his head back and forth, breaking their gaze as he considers it. Then he looks back at him earnestly. "I've had a point of view shift."

Tony startles a little in understanding and a tentative smile touches his lips. "As in—"

"Yes," Bruce cuts him off only to be cut off in turn by Tony's eager lips. Just as the kiss deepens they break apart suddenly. "Oh my god!" Bruce gasps and looks at Tony with wide eyes. Tony seems to be in as much of a state of shock as he is.

It only lasts for a few seconds though, both of them processing the phenomenon, before their lips crash together so hungrily as if the contact were a basic need like oxygen. The synergy that courses between them is more powerful than anything Bruce has ever been able to fathom let alone has ever felt. It's desperate and strong and perfect and Bruce feels like he's suffocating in the intoxicating scent of Tony's no doubt expensive cologne but he can't complain. In fact, it's so desperate and strong and perfect that Bruce is pretty sure they should stop because he's already starting to need Tony in other ways and he's pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

"About time," Hulk's voice resonates audibly in his head.

Bruce pulls away with a sort of low squeak at that and they both pant in an effort to fill their lungs back up with oxygen. Meanwhile the Hulk is laughing at him in his head and Bruce has the distinct clarity it's because the Other Guy thinks he's an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. He's laughing at him because he's always been there just like Tony, just like...

Bruce quickly looks at Tony and his expression must be an odd one because Tony looks at him in amusement and asks, "What?"

"I don't know if I could explain it if I tried," Bruce answers honestly. "I think… I think the Hulk is the…" He shakes his head and starts to laugh. Tony clearly has no idea why he's laughing, but joins in his laughter just the same.

Maybe he'll tell him his sudden hypothesis another time, but right now he's laughing with his soul mate in the middle of Central Square and it's as if this is how it was always meant to be regardless of the when.

**Author's Note:**

> agentsimmons: The parts that I wrote and the ultimate vision in my head was kind of like a mesh of song plots with a running theme...
> 
> The main other songs of inspiration: Everywhere (Michelle Branch), Avalanche (Walk The Moon), Sea of Lovers (Christina Perri), Timing Is Everything (LIGHTS), Shots (Imagine Dragons), Portugal (Walk The Moon), A Thousand Miles (Boyce Avenue/Alex Goot Cover), Ordinary Day (Vanessa Carlton), I Will Remember You LIVE (Sarah McLachlan), I Knew I Loved You (Savage Garden), Where Or When (Frank Sinatra)
> 
> Additionally, the way it seemed to be going, we both favored drawing some loose inspiration from Tolkien's ideas on how Middle-earth elves mate where death is concerned - they may die in grief, persevere, or in the rare case *cough Finwe cough* remarry.


End file.
